Pete Friendly's patented Crime Toaster popped, the word "Crime!" burnt darkly into the sourdough! He flipped the bread inquisitively to note the map showing the location of the voracious villainy.
"As I well know, the darkness of the toast burn indicates the severity of the crime… This must be something big!" the otherworldly Outsider said aloud, despite being alone. "I must call upon the forces of… The Delinquents!"
Using his mighty mental powers, Outsider called out to his friends for assistance! He received a hard pass from his first choices, Ugat, Calavera, Bodyguard, and L'Esprit. In a fit of desperation, he reached out to Cygnus, who just thought about the sound of a dial tone until he disconnected. With a sigh, he finally called Reflect and Officer, who were happy to assist.
With the Gold Team assembled, Outsider's Ooloo fighter™ flew in hot to the scene of the crime. Police officers were taking cover behind cars as hunks of asphalt were hurled at them at high speed. The camera panned up slowly to reveal… The Villainous Vanquish! Now freed from the shackles preventing him from using his powers, he was tearing up the street with an intense focus, flanked by a pair of jackhammer wielding henchmen wearing sweatshirts with a big "V" on them.
Acting with abandon, the optimistic Officer leapt from the ship at speed, quickly dispatching with both henchmen. Outsider and Reflect then casually walked from the ship, looking confusedly at Officer.
"Sup, Vanquish," said the recalcitrant Reflect.
"Reflect! How are you? Why did your little friend beat up my day laborers?" Vanquish replied.
"We really don't know," said Outsider.
Vanquish revealed that he was digging for a power source he buried back in the 70's. It used to be a field (confirmed by Officer), but has since been paved over. He had almost got to it, but there's one problem. It was contained in some sort of… container. A container impenetrable to even Vanquish's might.
"… but with your teleporting ability, you can retrieve the power source for me! Bwahahahaha!" Vanquish continued laughing evilly for a solid 5 minutes.
Reflect questioned Vanquish about his intended uses for the power source. He was informed that it could power anything, Death Rays, Star Ships, Doomsday Devices.
"Dude, I'm a hero. That's not cool," said Reflect, before realizing that, actually, it was pretty cool. Reflect agreed to assist Vanquish… or so it seemed.
Secretly, using Outsider's telepathy as a conduit, Reflect formed a plan to bamboozle their felonious foe. He would teleport into the container and grab the enemy source… but he wouldn't return it to Vanquish. Instead, he would teleport it into Outsider's Ooloo fighter™ and they would take off. Meanwhile, Officer would use his speedy superpowers to dazzle and distract Vanquish. It was a perfect plan, and nothing could possibly go wrong.
OR COULD IT?
The plan began just fine, before immediately falling apart. Reflect teleported inside the container, finding a large, glowing, egg-like object.
"Easy, peasy, I'll be out in a breezy, just as I pleasy," Reflect rhymed, reaching for the egg with his evil hand. As he touched it, he immediately blacked out.
Outside the container, Officer began his part of the plan, zipping around Vanquish in circles at a high speed. Vanquish stood in the center of the ring of rapidity, confused as to why the child was running around him.
"Don't mind him," said Outsider. "He has ADD."
"I'm full of energy!" shouted the Officer.
Outsider reached out to Reflect's mind, but heard an actual dial tone. After a while of waiting, Vanquish became annoyed at Officer running around him, and hit him, sending him flying. He went over to the container, and started striking at it, trying to open it.
Elsewhere, Reflect awoke in a strange white room, empty except for a door, a cot, and a young Ooloo lady with a similar evil arm tattoo as Reflect's.
"Hi," she said.
The Ooloo revealed her name to be Haiosdhfgdsjbfhsdjcoaishyuaibsj, but her Earth name is Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds.
"Wow, that's a really long name," said Reflect. "It's also an LSD reference. Your name is a reference to a drug. I'm just gonna call you 'Lucy.'"
"Ok," Lucy replied.
They then moved in to high five, and found that their hands passed through each other. After a discussion of which one of them might be a ghost, Lucy picked up a ball, and threw it at Reflect. It went right through him. After discounting the possibility that it might be the unquiet soul of a dead ball, Reflect realized that he was probably the ghost. But, then eventually worked out that he was probably… a dupe or something? Something… to be revealed later.
Reflect then learned that Lucy was a prisoner, they were onboard Outsider's Mom's Ooloo Dreadnaught Class Battle Ship™, and the tattoo is a mark of Ooloo prisoners, before waking up back on Earth inside the container. He tried to wipe the sweat from his brow with an exaggerated sigh, but found he couldn't because the tattoo on his arm was fused with the Egg-ish energy source. His whole sleeve was burnt off, revealing the full tattoo, which glowed brightly, the same color as the Egg. Despite this, Reflect alerted Outsider that the plan was still on. He teleported with the egg onto Outsider's Ooloo fighter™.
To further confuse Vanquish, Outsider used his telepathy and density shifting to rip open the container's door, revealing it to be empty. He told Vanquish that Reflect had a teleporting accident, and was at the ruins of the Hollywood Hills with the power source now. Vanquish flew off to meet him.
The Gold Team met back up aboard the ship and saw Reflect's predicament, still fused to the power source. Reflect told them about the prisoner, and the prisoner mark she had.
"Oh yeah, I guess your tattoo does look familiar," said Outsider. "It's a mark of exile for the worst Ooloo prisoners. The only way to get it off and free you will be to a) cut your arm off, or b) get a high ranking Ooloo officer like my Mom or maybe Frankie / Freddie 4real to release you of it."
"Let's make cutting off my arm Plan B," said Reflect.
The gang went to find Fredankie 4real. He confirmed that he could remove the mark, but then Reflect's arm just released itself from the egg. The egg looked completely drained of energy, but Reflect's tattoo glowed bright.
"Never mind, Fredfrank," Reflect said. "I want to keep it now. This thing's gotta have some cool power."
META – Holy crap, writing like this takes forever. I'm just gonna wrap up with some details.
Gold Team rescues Lucy, but the Ooloo are aware of it! Officer is being mentored by Badger! Cygnus wants to break up the wedding! We learned that the purpose of the Ooloo inspection wasn't to see if we were "worthy", it was to see if we were capable of fighting back against an inevitable invasion! Gold team fought a bunch of Kriby-Scooter riding Ooloo soldiers! Gold Raven (now, Black Raven) is now all evil and working with Vanquish! Vanquish stole and crashed the Dreadnaught into the Coronado Bridge! Outsider publicly rebuked his family and stood on the side Earth as the invasion begins!